May has really felt like a turning point.

This month I centered my lessons around discipline and I definitely felt it.

As a family, we started out the month with Casey being gone to Florida for a paintball tournament and these events have been a huge source of anxiety and a rise in feelings of rage. It was a pleasure to get to have that time to see that I had chosen a much better way and I was able to rise in those days feeling fully capable and unwilling to surrender my peace.

Curiously enough, this month I felt the divine masculine energy more than ever. I suppose this began from the moment that Casey left for that tournament and throughout the month I felt super connected. This theme of discipline really allowed me to recognize how strong my mind is and how when I say I am going to do something I do it.

I am capable, I am powerful.

I felt like I was really able to recognize myself in a way that I am still developing but giddy at the thought that this masculine/feminine connection within is strong, it isn’t going anywhere. A homeostasis, give and take for infinity. Recognizing the ways in which I have applied discipline into my life allowed me to experience a beautiful release that I also noticed coincide with what could have been passed off as PMS. I felt safe within myself to express anger and when I noticed that I really wanted to hide and push my feelings down I was then quickly able to communicate what I was feeling, where it was coming from and it brought me closer to my husband in ways I have been wanting.

It gets hard to have conversations with your partner you know? Especially when you have children who already have so much to say, that’s a given but if we consider that where there is a will there is a way then we have to ask the obvious “why am I not willing to do my best to have a heart to heart?” Well for me, it came down to the belief that men aren’t safe, they cannot be trusted and they will use you.

Which is a pretty crazy belief to have considering I have been married to this man for nearly ten years. I won’t get into my trauma and past experiences but it will suffice to say that sometimes the idea that we spend so much time and effort to build a life with a man and he could at any given moment decide he doesn’t want to share this life together anymore, he could betray or abandon me if that is his will has been enough for me to intentionally set an emotional block in the connection.

When we talk about emotional blocks, we have to get down to why was it put there? Because of a belief. And we can read as many books and converse with as many guides or mentors as we’d like but if you want to have a real connection of any kind we absolutely have to take action and remove those blocking beliefs. The vulnerability of it all, over time becomes a pleasure. Like taking in a lover for the first time, you’re completely absorbed visually and then stimulated physically, spiritually.

Of course its terrifying, I mean truly consider that each person on this earth has free will. They can do whatever they want and thats why we try so hard to control others because we don’t want them to hurt us. It’s called trust and when we are betrayed by the people we were told love us the most well, trust is a challenge.

I’m not afraid of a good challenge because I trust myself.

Mind, body, spirit- May was a great month. I have a strong feeling that the changes I went through here will bring some lovely fruits.

May was a blue month, a primary color and I strongly felt the third eye and throat chakra clearing. Mostly emotionally of course, especially being a woman I think we’ll continuously be healing the ways in which we’ve ignored our intuition and have stayed silent when we should have spoken our truth. The best way I found to keep the energy moving was to stick to my workout routine especially when I wanted to avoid it because “I didn’t feel like it” which of course meant that it was exactly what I was needing. It helped a lot to cry, to allow myself to revisit memories so that I could let them go. It’s such a hard or perhaps tempting thing for a victim to let go, visiting the past becomes like a drug, one that I am no longer interested in subjecting my health to.

I had a lot of fun incorporating blue into my outfits and recording outfit reels. You probably wouldn’t consider something that healing but it does something for your confidence to not only plan a nice outfit but put yourself out there when you’ve made a new home for yourself safe in your own energy.

My favorite purchase this month was the blue Jacquemus Petit Bambino. It is tiny, like you can’t even fit a phone or tarot deck into it. Maybe three crystals tops but in its own way it’s a petit piece of art.

All in all, this month I felt that conscious creatress power from start to finish and it didn’t scare me. The phrase “room for growth” has become something that means there is still life to be lived, lessons to be learned and challenges to be accepted. I feel excited and my goodness that is a welcome feeling to have about our lives don’t you think?

Have you ever considered the first pancake? It’s the one that comes with all of the appropriate lessons. A test pancake. The one in which you get to see if your consistency is as desired, you test your temperature, size etc. You don’t really expect this pancake to be perfect and you don’t necessarily need it to be, because once you get going you’ll know what needs to be done thereafter.

The first pancake simply needs to be made, the rest will fall into place as needed.

My friends, how many times in life do we get hung up on our ‘first pancake?’

This can be personally, in romantic relationships, parenting and it can also be spiritually and professionally as well. A constricting sense that we have to get it right the first time or else (insert false belief here). I think we all go through this many times and in many different ways but why? Where and why did we come to believe that we couldn’t make mistakes?

As we have grown into adulthood through our imperfect experiences, we have to allow ourselves to take a step back and recognize that everything we are today, our successes and failures are due to many ‘first pancake’ moments. Maybe even some second, third and fourth pancake moments as well!

We learn the most when we are adjusting the vision, acquiring new desires, allowing the space for us to make mistakes and fail also allows the space for our successes. So why the fear? What is the root of the desire to get it right the first time?

In our house, the children usually want to be involved in the cooking if they are around to do so. When we’re making pancakes or waffles even for breakfast, the first one is the one that we all share. It is the one that we split up and sample, it brings a conversation about what we think it needs, how we want to move forward, it creates space for communication and sharing our desires.

One of these times that we were making breakfast, I was watching Vivienne leading the effort and making the pancakes all on her own when it occurred to me that as far as children go, she is my first pancake. Which gave me a good laugh and at the same time realizing how serious parenting can be as well. We all want to get it right, we don’t want our children to suffer due to our ignorance but we also have to realize that it’s impossible for us to be the perfect parent especially at the beginning because we’ve never done it before.

It’s terrifying, the variables, the amount of things that could go wrong, the things that we don’t yet know and the mind does what it can to protect us from the unknowns that so often we never begin at all. When we don’t begin however, we also don’t learn, we choose stagnation over growth and the magic of possibility.

How many life experiences have we passed over, how many desires have we shoved into our subconscious because we were simply too afraid we wouldn’t get it right? Maybe that we weren’t good enough to even bother trying?

Whether you call it perfectionism or procrastination, all the same, my dear friend we have to get moving. The pancakes aren’t going to make themselves and there is an appetite in the world for the passion you have to offer. That expectation, that belief that it has to be perfect on the first try or the thoughts that say that you don’t have what it takes aren’t real. You know what it takes to create?

Your will.

Your desire.

Your passion.

Your creative expression.

Your love.

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about being a parent, a partner, a friend, an entrepreneur or simply a happy human. You wanting to begin is enough, everything you’ll need to know, all of your ingredients and the right people will show up because of your vibration.

Today, I invite you create that first of many pancakes. Even if it is only the act of allowing yourself to write it all down, even if it is simply allowing yourself to feel the feeling. There is no effort that is insignificant.

I’m going to go ahead and put a warning here that this may be a tender subject for some and maybe not at all for others. Much of what is written here is based on my own experience and how I have mothered myself in order to become the mother I deserve and therefore the mother my children deserve.

I want to begin my saying Happy Mothers Day to each of you. It is absolutely a happy day, I am grateful to be alive, I am healthy and quite possibly happier every day, more than I could have imagined. But I also know that this day can be difficult for many.

I have held a healing practice for nearly three years now and interestingly but not by coincidence it began from my desire to heal my own emotions. Although I consider myself having done a lot of work and transcended many of my life lessons “successfully” it is the emotional wounds that I believe to be a point of attraction for most of my clients.

Today we’ll be discussing the mother wound. Which even now, still brings up tears to my eyes, I feel the tension in my heart and the squeak to my throat.

It’s been a beautiful, peaceful and quiet rainy day in Tennessee. It is almost as if the Earth herself has set the vibe for healing and release of this wound that so many carry.

In my healing practice, I can’t tell you (literally) how many clients I’ve had share their stories of the pain they carry in their hearts from their mothers. It’s common, it’s heavy and in our time I believe we each rise to transmute that pain into some of the greatest love we’ve ever known. A love that is safe, truly unconditional and like coming home.

As with all of our healing, the only way out is through. I have found that when it comes to our mothers the very things we don’t want to say and the pain we try to hide from is what could guide us to our freedom. This wound is wrapped up in the illusions of appearances, hiding truth out of fear of hurting someone else and all it does is keep us locked in these past moments unable to mature, evolve into the versions of ourselves we deserve to be.

This wound is capable of affecting every single chakra which in my (non-medical but) intuitive opinion is a huge root to uncover and heal when it comes to depression and insecurity with the inability to exist or feel safe to do so as our true selves in this realm.

I used to believe that when it came to the healing of my mental health this was mostly to do with the masculine, the ways in which men have hurt us and while that is true in itself as it relates to mental health, healing the mother wound has everything to do with emotional healing. Healing emotionally is working with the body and the intuition alike but as many of us know the body can be programmed and so re-programming the body to trust something other than what it was originally programmed to do can be a challenge. It is through that challenge however that we begin to see our mothers in such a raw way that is both healing and empathetic but also so dark.

They say that we have to forgive and yes, that is certainly a big portion of the healing but before the forgiveness and after the depression comes the anger, the frustration and rage at how a human being could betray and abandon their child whether that be emotionally or physically.

We have to allow ourselves to feel all of those feelings to if we are to know what is within our DNA, the qualities of the feminine within you if you are to know how to heal her and allow her to rise.

The forgiveness comes when we begin to understand that not everyone will believe themselves capable of healing, some may not be able to transcend their lessons in this lifetime and the torch has been passed on to you, the question then becomes will you pass that pain onto the generations being born from you?

This is a heavy topic my friends, one that we could not possibly cover in one blog post so we will leave it here so give ourselves space to breathe, feel into our own feminine qualities and we can approach this again next week.

Friend, I love you so much. Maybe you don’t believe this yet but you love yourself so much too and if you have been called to read this today then I believe you capable of walking through this healing as well. You are worthy of this grand love.

Should you need a friend to walk with you through this wound, I am available for soul coaching and reiki in person or virtual, please send me an email at diana@dianaderossett@gmail.com and we can coordinate for a 1:1 session.

Please be sure to be drinking plenty of water, eat a meal that is appealing to your eyeballs and when you look at yourself in the mirror tonight during your skincare routine be sure to see a beautiful soul who is doing their very best.

Oh my friends, I feel so happy sitting down to write this blog post.

April was such a wonderful month for me to listen to myself and it has reminded me of just how important it is that we create space to be still, rest and listen if we want to propel our lives forward. These are parts of the process that are feminine in nature and so its pretty clear to see how when we are disconnected from our feminine energy then we are also probably working to hard, stressed and trying to make things happen by ‘working harder,’ inevitably feeling resentful, drained and undervalued. We have to learn to be the first ones to recognize our signs when our creativity begins to diminish, we aren’t expressing ourselves as we’d like to.

April came with some wonderful manifestations and namely personal freedoms that I am grateful to have been served lessons that helped me go down into the mud within and emerge like a lotus in the sunshine. Digging into areas of shame that I felt have only helped me to feel pride in myself.

There had been a huge conflict within where I was feeling like what I have to share with the world was not of value because I don’t have a degree. I am a certified Soul Coach, Ordained Healing Minister and Reiki Master and the truth is I cannot compare myself with a licensed therapist or counselor. Another truth is, I don’t want to. That was never meant to be my path and learning to accept that has freed me from wanting to share anything more than my life experience or what exists within the realm of energy healing. It was the comparison and doubt that had me reeling in insecurity and I was standing in my own way.

How light it all feels now without the unnecessary pressure! I think it’s so important for us to identify our limits and learn to also not be confined by them but become a master at what we can do, with what we have available, what we are good at and to have fun with that.

We don’t have to be be everything to everyone.

We also don’t owe anyone any explanations for the path that we choose or have been called to serve on.

I am incredibly passionate about self-love and all of the deep, dirty work that comes with it. I think this is how the inner work translates into my waking life in the form of the farm and motherhood, it is this hands in the dirt, wiping sweat off your brow, nourishing, emotional work that I cannot get enough of, I live and breathe this.

To get to share in that with others, to lend a hand as they cultivate their inner gardens, listen to their stories, understand what their compost consists of and what they aspire to grow is magical to say the least. In this way, I imagine it to be as if we all grow what we’re good at and we share with each other, all having grown the best we have to offer from our self-love, appreciation and joy.

This May the theme is BLUE. Everything will be centered around feelings, as within I have felt such a connection with my own masculine listening and trusting the feminine intuition, with the insecurity now being removed that was blocking the flow between them.

Blue is a color thought to have a feeling of serenity and calmness that is often thought to represent sadness.

Blue is associated with the throat chakra a center that for many women is quick to shut down and while this may make us appear to be shy or quiet, underneath creates anything but a sense of calm. We need to talk about the relationships with the masculine within and the masculine without that have led to us suppressing our voices and bring ourselves up to the surface for air.

Blue is also associated with the third eye chakra, our vision, intuition and ability to see ourselves as we really are.

I am excited for this month ahead and to open up these conversations to create harmony within ourselves and go into the summer feeling heard, healed and hotter than ever.

The first week of May is completely booked, if you are interested in working 1:1 with me in session you can reach me by email at diana@dianaderossett.com I look forward to lending my hands are you cultivate your garden my friend.