Look baaaaaaack at it

I am beyond thrilled to be writing this post as this has been a dream of mine since I was around five years old!

WE GOT GOATS!

Claire and Finn are Myotonic goats which are also known as fainting goats and were born February 4, 2021. I have been poking around craigslist for literally years looking for fainting goats, of course since we’ve never owned this much property to actually have a goat it was just one of those things you do. Kind of like window shopping except I’m always looking for farm animals.

Growing up, my Abuelito and my tio’s had ranchos in Mexico and occasionally I would get to go out there and I remember it being so special to me to get to hold the baby animals. Getting to have some of them now is pretty incredible.

The kids are coming from a kind family in Williamsport, Tn who have been raising fainting goats for years called Kids on the Ridge. As a family we planned the day so that we could drive down to Shelbyville to take Casey to paintball practice and from there we drove over to meet and choose our goats.

Immediately we felt connected to Claire, as soon as they let Vivienne hold her she was calm in her arms and I could see that look in Viv’s eye. Ollie then wanted to hold the chocolate brown one we now know as Finn who was also super chill. A leading factor in choosing Finn was that he had already been disbudded meaning he will not grow horns, which can actually grow to be nearly a foot long! While Myotonic goats tend to have good dispositions, with our children and a lot of the children in our neighborhood still being so young I thought it best to take the precaution on this one.

As silly as it may sound the experience of purchasing the goats was top floor. The farmer, Shaun, was so knowledgeable about the goats and his heard. It was clear to see that this was something that they enjoyed doing and he wanted to be sure that I was well informed about the kids before I left, even going so far as to trim their hooves, treat them with their medications, fill their paperwork and make himself available should I have any more questions in the future. I’m serious when I say it was like shopping at Gucci, except for goats.

So far, Claire and Finn seem to be adjusting well since they have each other and I have been like a cat in the window watching them graze in between the Sunday clean up. In case you’re wondering they do in fact “faint” but its more like their legs lock up on them. Just yesterday when we got them home I took them out of the van to place them in the garage and I will be mindful not to underestimate them due to their size because Claire took off running and I had to chase her down the cul-de-sac! I kept thinking to myself surely I don’t have to actually run after her, she’ll faint. NOPE. She kept going and my husband thought it was the funniest thing to watch as I’m chasing this goat all you can hear is “baaaaa! Baaaa!”

Well friends, that is our update! Our hobby farm count is now at 13 chickens, 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 bunnies, 1 turtle, 1 tortoise, 3 birds and 2 adorable little goats!!

Laundry Day: a Saga

I spent a lot of time this week considering what I should write about for this evenings blog post, I wanted to take a different approach because quite frankly I am embodying a different energy in my life right now. It’s an energy that feels so familiar and although I am still remembering it feels..simply put, like home.

That is where we will begin today, with the reality of the home life.

In case you are new here, I am a millennial stay at home mother with three children that I homeschool and everyday looks different around here. Everyday that is except for Sundays, these are the days that rather than self-care I consider to be more like family care. It is a day in which we spend most of the rising watching cartoons and snuggling on the couch, we enjoy a light breakfast and we all spread out to clean and generally find our own way until we come back together at dinner.

I will share with you that Sunday’s used to feel like stress, I felt overwhelmed by the amount of cleaning there was to do around the house and generally angry that my husband was off playing paintball instead of at home doing his part to accomplish the tasks that never seem to end in a household our size. Again, if you are newer to my blog while we may have three children we also have four dogs, two cats, two turtles and eleven chickens!! I would say that all together it is more than a handful, however, through a lot of self-awareness, patience and just letting go off all of the pent up emotions what once felt like it was so much that I couldn’t carry has now become a lifestyle that I can’t help but dance my way through each day.

Even just as recently as a few weeks ago I was feeling rising frustration as my youngest who is still breastfeeding would continue to wake up as soon as I did no matter if I got up early to meditate or if I stayed in bed and slept in. I WAS OVER IT. The funny part about that to me is that every great change that occurred in my life has come from that sentiment. But what if it didn’t have to? What if I could change my reality by being into it, so in love with it that I change it because I want to see how it grows, expands and I fall in love with it in every form?

Instead of immediately giving my energy to frustration when I began my day because I wasn’t able to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it, I surrender the frustration and instead call upon the gratitude I feel as I begin to embrace the sensation of having these beautiful children safe and peaceful next to me. I imagine how it must feel for them to know their bodies are safe as they dream, I awaken and I see how I am living the dreams that only existed inside of my mind and heart now surround and support me.

Don’t let Instagram fool you, there are always dirty dishes when you’re a family of five.

Is that not what meditation does for us but connects us to our natural essence? Every rising I have been finding it easier to tap into this energy and place my awareness on it as I live the day rather than when I let frustration take the spotlight and then no matter what I do it never seems like enough. I begin with all my needs and wants met, then everything else becomes more than enough and although the day will at times bring up opportunities for me to place my awareness in lack it has become like a game for me to place my bet on myself and choose the lifestyle that I believe to be real.

With all of that said I thought I would take you along on my Sunday!

Vivienne (9) has the green thumb. Currently attempting to grow an avocado tree.

My children are nine, four and nearly two, with their age gaps it is pretty likely that there will be multiple arguments no matter what day it is. The oldest one thinks she is a teenager already, my middle child just wants to be a part of anything going on and the little one? Well she is learning everything from the oldest two, she takes no shit, she spits back, fights back and will cry to mama if anyone does it back to her. Now this is a significantly larger house than our first home and with the vaulted ceilings, all of them screaming is sensory overload.

In our home its either quiet because the iPads are being used, someone is napping or they all just got done fighting and they are powering back up for the next round. They are curious, they have a lot of questions and they really enjoy creating whether that be crafting, cooking or anything that they can get messy with.

Today, once we were done watching cat compilation videos on youtube they asked to make a juice and it kickstarted our day. I cut up the celery and apples and let them get to work, while to them they are just in it to smash the produce into the juicer I get to observe how they are learning to work together towards a common goal and I learn more about how they respond to each other when they feel frustrated and overwhelmed. You see, when we become of something within ourselves and learn how to channel or alchemize that emotion I feel that also helps us become better teachers and parents.

Sundays are the best because they are the days in which I like to think that I am observing everything as I am present with my creator. From the moment my eyes open I am in prayer and gratitude for all of my needs and my children’s needs, I can rise to accomplish the goals and cleaning of the day without feeling like its too much because every single thing I am doing is for a purpose from making breakfast to clinging onto the last bit of patience when its past 10pm and the children still won’t fall asleep.

I think I’m going to have to pass on the pampas grass aesthetic, the fluff just isn’t going to work for me.

This is my Sunday service, this awareness through every single task is what I have been working with and pulling though each day in my week to remind myself that not only am I not alone as I raise my family, write and dream up my own projects but that I am fully supported, aware and not overwhelmed or bogged down my the experience.

Who was I kidding getting light colored rugs? You mean dirt colored rugs?

To finalize todays post, I would like to share one last bit. The quote “its not what you look at, its what you see” has been at the forefront of my mind as I have been reconstructing my daily routines. I wanted to share in full transparency that my home is extraordinarily beautiful, I am fully aware of the magnitude of what I have available to me in this life and still I, like most other parents am attempting to do my best to be a conscious human being while in the middle of raising other human beings and assisting others along their own journey by learning how to be a good friend, partner, etc. At one point or another we will all learn to fulfill many roles at once and giving up is not an option. I believe wholeheartedly that if we could be fractured by having to learn how to survive in environments that were toxic then so too can we survive (and thrive!) in our current environments because we are capable of self-healing and above all love.

Fig our three legged rescue gato.

This Sunday, I invite you to look around your space, your life and ask yourself if you see and feel love.

Awareness is a not just a life practice that relates to self-healing, its also being conscious of our material world and what we consume from it. Consciousness is everywhere and I have been really curious about the connection between becoming aware of the products we use in relation to our values. What we consume whether that be music, social media, clothing, food or cleaning products has an impact on our energy, our health and our lives.

If I were to try and pinpoint what led me to exploring my spirituality I would genuinely say that it began with a documentary I watched on Netflix back in 2011. It shocked me to witness the reality of where our food comes from and considering myself to be an animal lover, the abuse of animals was sickening. But even deciding not to eat meat was not enough because the reality is also that our fruits and vegetables are covered in pesticides, herbicides and toxins that my mind nearly cannot begin to understand how that is even legal.

Back then I pretty much did everything the way my mom did it when I was growing up. From the meals that I cooked, to the cleaning supplies that I bought, the candles and my goodness, the wall plug-ins. In all fairness, I just wanted my house to smell nice and not like dogs. I got together with my husband the same year I watched that documentary and he is so sensitive to anything that is heavily scented so that was also the year that I had to say good-bye to wearing perfume, scented laundry detergent and I felt the saddest about giving up the candles and plug-ins when it came to Christmas time because there is no better smell than that of pine.

Giving up all of those things for the wellbeing of my partner wasn’t that difficult but coming to the realization that a lot of the products that I had been using made me feel very unsettled about how and why those things were basically carcinogens and neurotoxins masked as every day use products.

As a result of motherhood and wanting what was best and healthiest for my children I had to become the first line of defense for what was going to make its way inside of our home. My husband was in the military for the first few years of our marriage and that meant I did all of the shopping and care taking of the home. I had no choice but to begin to do research and educate myself, I joined a local crunchy group and it blew my mind wide open. I didn’t even know what sustainability was or meant and to be honest it was both intimidating and exciting to have so much to learn.

It also can feel like no matter what you do, there is no such thing as conscious consumerism.

That is something we’ll each have to face and approach in the best way we know how. This year in particular aired out the truth about so many companies that we line up to buy what they produce from Starbucks to Victorias Secret, Anthropologie to Whole Foods and Amazon. It gets to feel extremely overwhelming, if its not prison labor oppressing particularly men of color then its fast fashion and the disastrous effects it has on third world countries and the environment. If its organic and grass fed then someone is making a disproportionate amount of profit from that need.

I think where I have felt this the most is the understanding that consumerism really affects the people who are working the hardest, the people who can’t afford to eat organic or buy sustainably made clothing from Bali, its the people who are couponing the very products that will inevitably poison their bodies and that of their families. It’s people like my parents who think that because something is “name brand” then of course it has to be a better quality.

I’d like to believe that my efforts to stop buying clothing at places like Old Navy or making our own coffee at home and “shopping small” are part of those small steps toward a better way of life for all but it has to go further than that. How do we dismantle a system that we also rely upon to live?

I certainly have some ideas and don’t quite have the answers for these questions yet aside from being aware. Our awareness is a significant step, we can’t all go off the grid and start a farm, it may not be your calling and it isn’t mine either. I will be completely transparent when I say that I like designer things and I don’t live a minimalistic lifestyle, my appetite for things certainly feeds this system. Change cannot happen from a space of judging ourselves for our consumption but it can happen from a space of acceptance and then applying our consciousness on how we wish to continue moving forward. Feeling guilty about buying the chain store coffee isn’t going to get us anywhere but self-love certainly does. Denying the areas in which we have privilege doesn’t give more of that privilege to others but we can use that privilege, channel that energy through our own unique means.

Then if we can recognize that we have the ability and awareness to shift where we place our energetic currency, how does that redirection of energy look for you and your lifestyle? This may be a small change in the foods and household products you use, it can be where you buy your clothing from, maybe even thrifting if that is something you are open to. It can also be by channels that don’t require your money like raising awareness within your family and friends, having honest conversations about what we consume and calling in other minds to take a look at the different perspectives and come up with ways we can support each other.