Sunday Best

 

I spent a lot of time this week considering what I should write about for this evenings blog post, I wanted to take a different approach because quite frankly I am embodying a different energy in my life right now. It’s an energy that feels so familiar and although I am still remembering it feels..simply put, like home.

That is where we will begin today, with the reality of the home life.

In case you are new here, I am a millennial stay at home mother with three children that I homeschool and everyday looks different around here. Everyday that is except for Sundays, these are the days that rather than self-care I consider to be more like family care. It is a day in which we spend most of the rising watching cartoons and snuggling on the couch, we enjoy a light breakfast and we all spread out to clean and generally find our own way until we come back together at dinner.

I will share with you that Sunday’s used to feel like stress, I felt overwhelmed by the amount of cleaning there was to do around the house and generally angry that my husband was off playing paintball instead of at home doing his part to accomplish the tasks that never seem to end in a household our size. Again, if you are newer to my blog while we may have three children we also have four dogs, two cats, two turtles and eleven chickens!! I would say that all together it is more than a handful, however, through a lot of self-awareness, patience and just letting go off all of the pent up emotions what once felt like it was so much that I couldn’t carry has now become a lifestyle that I can’t help but dance my way through each day.

Even just as recently as a few weeks ago I was feeling rising frustration as my youngest who is still breastfeeding would continue to wake up as soon as I did no matter if I got up early to meditate or if I stayed in bed and slept in. I WAS OVER IT. The funny part about that to me is that every great change that occurred in my life has come from that sentiment. But what if it didn’t have to? What if I could change my reality by being into it, so in love with it that I change it because I want to see how it grows, expands and I fall in love with it in every form?

Instead of immediately giving my energy to frustration when I began my day because I wasn’t able to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it, I surrender the frustration and instead call upon the gratitude I feel as I begin to embrace the sensation of having these beautiful children safe and peaceful next to me. I imagine how it must feel for them to know their bodies are safe as they dream, I awaken and I see how I am living the dreams that only existed inside of my mind and heart now surround and support me.

Is that not what meditation does for us but connects us to our natural essence? Every rising I have been finding it easier to tap into this energy and place my awareness on it as I live the day rather than when I let frustration take the spotlight and then no matter what I do it never seems like enough. I begin with all my needs and wants met, then everything else becomes more than enough and although the day will at times bring up opportunities for me to place my awareness in lack it has become like a game for me to place my bet on myself and choose the lifestyle that I believe to be real.

With all of that said I thought I would take you along on my Sunday!

My children are nine, four and nearly two, with their age gaps it is pretty likely that there will be multiple arguments no matter what day it is. The oldest one thinks she is a teenager already, my middle child just wants to be a part of anything going on and the little one? Well she is learning everything from the oldest two, she takes no shit, she spits back, fights back and will cry to mama if anyone does it back to her. Now this is a significantly larger house than our first home and with the vaulted ceilings, all of them screaming is sensory overload.

In our home its either quiet because the iPads are being used, someone is napping or they all just got done fighting and they are powering back up for the next round. They are curious, they have a lot of questions and they really enjoy creating whether that be crafting, cooking or anything that they can get messy with.

Today, once we were done watching cat compilation videos on youtube they asked to make a juice and it kickstarted our day. I cut up the celery and apples and let them get to work, while to them they are just in it to smash the produce into the juicer I get to observe how they are learning to work together towards a common goal and I learn more about how they respond to each other when they feel frustrated and overwhelmed. You see, when we become of something within ourselves and learn how to channel or alchemize that emotion I feel that also helps us become better teachers and parents.

Sundays are the best because they are the days in which I like to think that I am observing everything as I am present with my creator. From the moment my eyes open I am in prayer and gratitude for all of my needs and my children’s needs, I can rise to accomplish the goals and cleaning of the day without feeling like its too much because every single thing I am doing is for a purpose from making breakfast to clinging onto the last bit of patience when its past 10pm and the children still won’t fall asleep.

This is my Sunday service, this awareness through every single task is what I have been working with and pulling though each day in my week to remind myself that not only am I not alone as I raise my family, write and dream up my own projects but that I am fully supported, aware and not overwhelmed or bogged down my the experience.

To finalize todays post, I would like to share one last bit. The quote “its not what you look at, its what you see” has been at the forefront of my mind as I have been reconstructing my daily routines. I wanted to share in full transparency that my home is extraordinarily beautiful, I am fully aware of the magnitude of what I have available to me in this life and still I, like most other parents am attempting to do my best to be a conscious human being while in the middle of raising other human beings and assisting others along their own journey by learning how to be a good friend, partner, etc. At one point or another we will all learn to fulfill many roles at once and giving up is not an option. I believe wholeheartedly that if we could be fractured by having to learn how to survive in environments that were toxic then so too can we survive (and thrive!) in our current environments because we are capable of self-healing and above all love.

This Sunday, I invite you to look around your space, your life and ask yourself if you see and feel love.