A movie scene that has always stuck with me was one from Selena where she is telling Chris that she wants a ten acre farm with cows, chickens, pigs and goats.

Since I was really little I have always had a fascination with the farm life, my abuelo and my tios had ranchos in Mexico with pigs, goats, cows, ducks and chickens. Humble farms of course with no indoor plumbing, I remember them having wells for water and laundry being done by hand outside. These are some of my favorite memories from childhood and something about those ranchos that felt very natural.

As an adult, now with children of my own who are also obsessed with animals and raising them we want to make the most use of this acre and a half that we are responsible for. With all of the food shortages that occurred over the last year, sustainable living has moved to the forefront of how we want to live our lives. I have to say that even something that may seem as small as having our own chickens means that we haven’t had to worry about buying eggs and with the price of pasture raised, organic eggs sitting at around $7 a dozen those little costs add up.

Combining this love for the farm life and our adventures our homeschooling I would love to share with you some of the dreams that we have in our hearts whether they manifest here at this home or maybe a few years down the line on a bigger property!

Right now we are putting a lot of energy into manifesting a mini pig! We would also like to bring in an alpaca and a fainting goat!! Now this is where it starts to get a little tricky because I’ve never seen myself keeping animals as strictly farm animals, we’ve been doing a lot of research on how to raise these animals (mainly the pig) to be more like pets, or as some would call them familiars rather than a being that would be kept outside caged. In my heart I see all of us spending sunny days outside, flowers blooming being trailed by a snorting little pig and maybe a white alpaca nudging for a good head scratch while we get ready to check on the garden.

This is how I see myself raising my children at the moment, having a connection with the land, with animals and sticking to the process from seed to harvest. I want to be with them on days where its hot outside and we’d rather be inside in the air conditioning but instead choosing to pick weeds and play with the animals because the connection is worth the stinky armpits and rosy cheeks.

While I love to romanticize my life and I think that has played a huge part on me being able to have created it to be what it is today I also have to be very realistic about the labor and energy that will be necessary in the middle of the process which to be frank I think is where we all want to get a bit lackadaisical and that is where I find myself currently at. Creating a bridge from a beautiful, bountiful life yet fully aware that it requires much more of my presence and it is not a dream that I can create and then pick and choose when to participate in it.

This week we are preparing the first of our seedlings, this is a part that the children really enjoy especially because it is so exciting to watch them sprout. Next we will have to begin tilling the ground once its not quite so wet outside and we are able to do so. We do have plans to add our pig to the family in the next couple of months so surrounding the garden doesn’t get shredded by the chickens and others animals. We learned this lesson the hard way last year with the chickens, these ladies are smart and the chicken wire fencing didn’t stand a chance. They turned the garden into compost in less than a day.

I look forward to sharing more about this part of the journey, how our routine will change with taking on projects this size and of course what it is like raising farm animals. Our main goal in this adventure is not only to provide nourishment for our family (especially with the size of the grocery bills this past year!), we would also like to have extra to share with our friends and neighbors as an offering to our community and of course to teach our children to connect to food, caring for what they have and making the most of it when able.

When my husband and I moved in together to our first home back in 2011, it was a quick decision and we never had any conversations about what our decorating style would be and how we wanted our home to look. I will admit that there were a lot of perks to him not having much to say about anything that I chose. He lovingly beared with me while I discovered not only my personal style but also found a home style decor that works for me. I went through the phases of Buddha decor, the thrifting and so on. Bless this man, some of the things I brought into that house give me the same facial reaction as when you think “really?”

This time it feels really good to be making the home decor choices together, although admittedly there are times when I wish I could bend him to my will a little more because he is not about mid-century anything at all. Of course that means hair pin legs and most of the West Elm furniture is going to be a no from him. I find that our styles put together however, are very balanced between what is aesthetically on trend, functional and family friendly.

Picking out the living room furniture thankfully only took us two visits to the store, one in which the children wanted to run around and keep me in a continuous hot flash making sure they didn’t knock anything over. The set I had originally chosen was a leather that was too light to be tied into the hardwood and grey of the kitchen. We both agreed that we wanted leather because it would be easiest to maintain with our children and with the dogs, we learned that lesson last time, the dogs turned our previous couch into their personal dog bed and we all know how that ends up smelling. Casey had wanted to go with a light grey sectional that would have matched the kitchen beautifully, but reality check, I’d give our children less than a week to stain that. We went with a beautiful leather set that compliments the hardwood, reclines and has USB outlets, win all around.

With selecting the living room furniture we were then able to get a better feel for what our color choices were going to be. The exterior of the house is a perfect (in my not so humble opinion) we went with the white brick and black roof and accents. I am obsessed with it, every time I drive up or drive off I admire it but we didn’t want to keep everything black and white on the inside which is why we added in the grey and hardwood.

Knowing that I had to add in some color from there made me very nervous initially but the more that I opened up to realizing that this was an opportunity to get creative and I finally had the space to do it that nervousness has expanded into excitement! The most obvious source of inspiration for our family has always been nature, Tennessee is abundant in places to hike and find water that I wanted to use the black, white and grey as a base to invite in Mother Nature’s greens, coppers and creams to warm up the home.

Keeping that warmth in mind, I want our home to feel like the early fall days when the tobacco barns are producing the most magical smell, you feel safe and inspired by the crisp air, smoke and change.

We are still in the midst of unpacking our boxes, sorting through what still has a purpose and matches the vibe of the new home and donating anything that no longer has a use for us. I have been really surprised going through the boxes at just how much we have accumulated but also that we’ve outgrown. I used to do a lot of home goods shopping at places like TJ Maxx, Ross and Target and for as much as I enjoy going there to wander around and pick out cute things they don’t seem to be pieces that grow with me.

Together through the building of our home, my husband and I have communicated so much more across the board but one thing we were particularly clear about was that we didn’t want to fill the home with stuff just for the sake of decorating. We want to take the time to measure, which may sound silly but how many times do we find ourselves buying something thinking it will fit and then it doesn’t. We also spoke about not buying anything without sharing input and most importantly being intentional about what we were bringing in.

There is definitely room for trial and error, like the entry way rug. *sigh* A beautiful piece, matched the color perfectly but its made out of wool and at only a month in the house, the dogs have decided that its their backup dog bed. Lesson learned, it looks like washable rugs are going to be the best investment for our family.

As we continue to bring together the home and have it truly reflect our family one of the best things that we can do to honor the feeling of nature that we want to bring in is to make the most sustainable choices that we can. There are some things like living room or bed room furniture that won’t be sustainable choices due to the heavy price tag some of those items carry. However, maybe the most sustainable choices we can make are done by being patient and intentional. The less junk we bring in, the less we put out into the trash can or have to donate, eventually making its way to a land fill anyway.

We’re finding a lot of peace in the process of asking ourselves what do we want to tackle today? In spaces within where I would have felt impatient because every room is not yet perfectly curated, I now step back to ask the space what it wants to be and take my time to not only clear out the boxes but carefully choose the art that add value to the spaces within our home.

It’s been a joy to sit in this home and love it with its bare walls, still smelling of fresh paint.

A home, a reflection of the family that lives within it. With that in mind our home will not only reflect balance and nature but also feel like simple, intentional luxury, rich like an extraordinary cup of coffee, serene like watching your baby sleep in your arms and inspiring like the first rays of sunrise coming through the window inviting you to start your day with gratitude.

I am THRILLED to share our new home with y’all!

This has been a dream of ours for a few years now and we are incredibly grateful to get to live here with our children, dogs, chickens and turtles!

Through this process of building a home (a literal dream!) I have learned so much about the manifesting process, but mostly about myself and my partner. I noticed how easy it is for us to have dreams and say “some day” but then not take the necessary action to turn the dream into a goal and make the steps to get there. Does anyone else feel like sometimes these things are better off as dreams because the journey to get there seems too overwhelming or nearly impossible?

If you would have asked us three years ago if we could even get a pre-approval for this house the answer most definitely would have been a NO. We were over $20,000 in credit card debt and living on one source of income. It’s certainly taken patience, consistency and as of late what I have noticed is acceptance.

It’s interesting how when we are going through it we don’t always catch the lessons until much later. Almost like that feeling when you are in an argument and don’t think of the perfect come back until its over. Well let me tell you that when you are manifesting you have to go through it with your conscious awareness, especially if you want it to come to fruition according to your intention.

That is what brings me to this current space that we find ourselves in, a place in which we’re in control and also not.

The process of having a house built has really highlighted how little control we have over others and with that has come with many feelings of frustration, anxiety, its brought up to the surface old feelings of scarcity, thoughts of unworthiness and it asks for more energy, more compassion, love, patience, belly laughs and most often in our case a welcome distraction of Pokemon Go and ice cream.

We always talk about the lighter side of manifesting like affirmations, worthiness, choosing our vibration. It’s easy to advise someone to “let it go” but is it really that easy? It is, but it also isn’t.

We went under contract for this home in February and then COVID was unleashed and building didn’t even begin until April with an expected move in date of September 1st. That date was then pushed back to September 30th, then the 9th, then lastly to the 13th. I laughed as I typed that but it hasn’t felt so fun or funny when we’ve had the majority of our things packed for weeks and you’ve been praying that you can hang in there just a little bit longer.

Maybe we go through lessons like this so that we can clearly see where our loyalties lie. In this space of uncertainty and discomfort I’ve had to look upon myself with love and upmost truth and it can feel painful to see ourselves when we’re anxious and pretending we’re not. It’s painful to feel like an outsider looking in when you can’t connect with your children because it feels too hard to stay tapped in. It’s even harder to understand why your parents were the way they were and having to make space for your inner child while going through all of this. But when you reach that final point, that moment where you realize you can still choose and then choose to let yourself go and feel all of it, no longer choosing to label the experience of yourself as good or bad simply true, thats when it gets real.

I’ll be honest with you, there were weeks in this process when I started choosing to focus my energy on how I would “be okay” with not getting into this house. There have been many opportunities for us to back out of our contract and ultimately we’ve decided we’re strong enough to see this through.

Home building y’all, lets just be thankful we don’t have to build houses ourselves like our ancestors did! We’ve signed so many amendments, we’ve made multiple texts to our realtor to have errors fixed and straight up asked the question over and over “how hard can it be to pay attention to detail?”

I have a feeling that question some day will come with an answer.

Well, we’re less than two weeks from our final walk through and closing date. And I’ve reached the point where I get to laugh with God and I could not be more grateful. Not only am I thankful that we will get to call this beautiful home OURS, but grateful to have myself through the process of letting go and moving on.

I am thankful to have gone through these lessons and have been on the same page as my partner, I am thankful that our children are resilient but also willing to dream this house with us and I cannot wait to hear the laughter, well mostly yelling they will do in this new house. I feel like I can already see the banister decorated for Winter, I can see our oldest daughter walking down the steps the morning she turns NINE the first of many birthdays to be celebrated in this house.

There have been many disappointments and setbacks but none of those are strong enough to overshadow the fact that I did have the power to get here. One thing I will say that those setbacks gifted me with is the importance of planning ahead and what can be controlled or planned for. Life certainly took me on a journey these seven months and she has shown me that it looks a lot different than a planner and cute motivational stickers. It is hilarious to me that even while I am still integrating the parts of myself that are ready to come home, I am simultaneously ready to start decorating and planning blog posts about that.

Welcome to a life of non-duality I suppose!